Dating a widower support group
] Widowers are survivors, and as such, most come through the grief process much stronger, more resilient, and embrace life with more gusto.Those are big changes for any person, but it would appear that for the widower, this growth is marked not by the passage of time but by how he handles the cards that are dealt to him.Everyone grieves differently according to their age, gender, personality, culture, value system, past experience with loss, and available support.It is also true that, while this man’s loss is fairly recent, it sounds as if he and his wife had experienced a long and probably very difficult decline in the quality of their life together, and he may be feeling a great sense of relief that this heavy burden finally has been lifted from his shoulders.I cannot recommend it highly enough, and if you can find a copy in your library or bookstore, I think you will find it quite helpful. Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Such feelings are perfectly normal (and therefore predictable) — but can be quite confusing and even disturbing, both to the person experiencing them and to the person observing them, unless such feelings are acknowledged, understood, worked through, accepted and released.Studies show that, in general, men and women may differ in how they experience grief and in how they express their reactions to loss.
This is but one example of the sort of conflicting feelings a person can have in the aftermath of the death of a loved one.
Since your man is not the one writing to me, I’m not in a position to evaluate where he is in his grief process, but I would encourage you to do some reading about what is normal in grief, so you’ll have a better idea of how he is doing, what to expect and how you can be of help.
See, for example, the articles and resources listed on my website’s Helping Someone Who’s Grieving page.
(If you just click on the title, you can read Amazon’s description and reviews.) Julie was the girlfriend and is now the wife of a widower (a “GOW” and now a “WOW,” in her words), and she has much experience, wisdom and advice to offer people in a position such as yours.
When I discovered Julie’s work some years ago, I was so taken with her experience, wisdom and candor that I ordered a copy of her book, and I think it is by far one of the best I’ve read on the subject.